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There are no 'normal' genitals

This week, we're talking genitals – their beauty, uniqueness, endless pleasure potential! So often in session, we’ll discuss confidence and insecurities around the way genitals may look or feel. Contrary to what porn or society may have you believe, there really is no ‘normal’ for the organs between your legs – they are meant to be different, beautiful and unique.

To start with, check out these iconic vulva illustrations from pioneering sex educator and artist, Betty Dodson. Life-changing stuff.

Now, it's time to explore three of my favourite pleasure practices for getting in touch with your body. Starting with...

1. Pleasure mapping The process of bringing mindful awareness and/or touch to your body. Imagine your body is a map and you’re using different types of touch, sensation, speed, pressure, movement etc. to awaken sensation. It’s not about being instantly orgasmic – you may feel ‘nothing’ to start with. Be curious and make note of what is present – the sensations, pleasure, emotional or sexual response you may feel. Practice solo or with a partner – what feels good, exciting, surprising?

You can map any part of your body, such as:

  • Genitals

  • Anus

  • Legs

  • Chest

  • Stomach

2. Mirror work Used in a range of therapies and healing modalities to develop self-love, self-care and a more dynamic relationship with your body. Looking into the mirror can be educational and can support you connecting with your body. How to try it:

You’ll need: a safe and/or sensual space (whatever that means for you), a hand mirror (or mirror you can sit up in front of you), body-safe lube of your choice, at least 10 minutes to explore

First, breathe and do what you need to become present.

Remove your clothes, perhaps sensually and gaze at your genitals for as long as you like.

You may choose to stop the inquiry here, but if you’re curious and want to explore further:

  • Locate the different organs of anatomy (the Pleasure Journal has a great diagram for vulvas)

  • Explore each organ with a variety of touch, pressure or sensation

  • Follow pleasure: using lube, see if you can find pleasurable ways to stimulate each part of your genitals

  • Integrate the experience with a few mindful moments

3. Sex Positive Affirmations A great way to enhance confidence and body awareness. Sex positive affirmations are phrases you repeat – you don’t necessarily need to believe them when you start, but they do need to be positive. Note: it’s pretty common to feel awkward when you first speak an affirmation, but we can make sense of the usefulness in turning to neuroplasticity: when we engage in new behaviours, thoughts, activities and so on, our brain starts to rewire itself. You may wish to say these out loud, in front of a mirror, or written in a journal to your heart’s content. Here are a few to try on for size - feel free to insert a name for your genitals if that feels more fitting:

I love my body, I love my genitals

My genitals are really fucking sexy

Pleasure is radical. I am reclaiming and celebrating my body

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