So... How Do You Become A Sex Coach?
Updated: Jan 11, 2022
I’ve always been a sexually curious person, I wanted to know about pleasure, relationships, eroticism, and desire. I had so many questions – but I couldn’t find any useful answers. The more I looked into a career as a Sex Coach, I noticed there was limited, easily accessible, mainstream information on pleasure and diversity (at the time). The existing education was heteronormative and risk-aversive and there was so much shame and stigma. I wanted to join the experts, therapists and practitioners committing their lives to transform how we understand and speak about sex. So I quit my job in corporate PR and started studying again.
If you're reading this because you're looking into a career in sexual wellness, I am SO excited for you. I love working in this space, and am so goddamn thrilled that I get to work with exceptional people, innovative brands and my dream job every day. I’m asked “How did you get into this work?” multiple times a week. We are in the midst of a sexual revolution that is encouraging and inviting people to explore this field. If you’ve been curious about becoming a sex coach, here’s what I have done and what I continue to do.
*Please note this information is basic and topline – a great start for those who are curious about my offering. It's likely you will need more information before choosing a path that’s best for you. Look through my site, research other courses/certifications/degrees and the many ways other experts (who have been working in this space well before me) practice and engage with their work.*
My first degree was a BA Communications (Journalism) from UTS. I then completed four certifications over four years at The Institute of Somatic Sexology and in 2021 I completed my 200 Hour Trauma Informed Yoga Teacher Training. When I was researching pathways to becoming a Certified Sex Coach, I intentionally looked into courses offered at Institutes/Schools that overtly communicated their inclusive approach to education. This choice has been vital to my career and has allowed for learning from and with a wide range of professionals across gender, sexuality, race, experiences, backgrounds and modalities.
My professional development is ongoing and constant. I attend dozens of workshops, conferences and trainings each year on a range of sex and health-related topics. I research, read and listen to experts, therapists, sex workers, researchers, pioneers and activists across neuroscience, psychology, relationships, mindfulness, bodywork, dating and activism.
My background in Journalism and PR has led me to write for national and international publications. It’s been an important part of my business and has allowed me to connect with a diverse range of people on a global level. To read a selection of my work, visit the media page.
Supervision is vital. I attend two supervision groups a month, one with a focus on psychology and the other on trauma, somatic & embodied therapy. I seek individual supervision where required.
I receive therapy at least once a month, this ranges from counselling to bodywork. I commit to this regardless of how I feel.
Confronting embodied -isms:
If you intend to work with people, it is essential to work through any shame, judgement, stigma (and so on) that you may have been conditioned to embody. We all have our own biases and judgements. It’s a natural part of social conditioning, but it is incredibly important to free yourself from these ideas to keep people safe.
Whilst it may look very sexy, by no means is it an easy field to work in. Any businesses or individuals working in this space are heavily regulated, there are many structures in place that inhibit the basic running of a business. It may be useful to reflect on the questions below to get really clear on why you’re drawn to this work to clarify what you want to do.
Why do you want to do this work?
How do you plan to support yourself emotionally, psychologically, physically, sexually, spiritually as you confront your own shame, taboo and fear around sexuality?
How will you diversify your teachers?
When will you rest?
How will you communicate your services?
How will you credit those you learn from?
What are you most passionate about?
Who do you want to work with?
This is a powerful space to work in. We need a wide range of people working in this space across gender, race, sexuality, ability and so on. If you still have questions and want support navigating this career path, I offer 60 minute coaching sessions. Please get in touch via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This is a resource I will continue to update.