So... How Do You Become A Sex Coach?
Updated: Jul 3, 2020
I’m asked “How did you get into this work?” multiple times a week. It’s so exciting that we are in the midst of a sexual revolution that is encouraging and inviting people to explore this field. If you’ve been curious about becoming a sex coach, here’s what I have done and what I continue to do.
I’ve always been a sexually curious person, I wanted to know about pleasure, relationships, eroticism, and desire. I had so many questions that I asked my teachers, parents, friends, Google and partners – but I couldn’t find any useful answers. The more I looked into a career as a Sex Coach, I noticed there was limited, easily accessible, mainstream information on pleasure and diversity (at the time). The existing education was heteronormative and risk-aversive and there was so much shame and stigma. I wanted to join the experts, therapist and practitioners committing their lives to transform how we understand and speak about sex. So I quit my job in corporate PR and started studying again.
*Please note this information is basic and topline – a great start for those who are curious about my offering. You will need more information before choosing a path that’s best for you. Look through my site, research other courses/certifications/degrees and the many ways other experts (who have been working in this space well before me) practice and engage with their work.*
My first degree was a BA Communications (Journalism) from UTS. I then completed three certifications over three years at The Institute of Somatic Sexology. When I was researching pathways to becoming a Certified Sex Coach, I intentionally looked into courses offered at Institutes/Schools that overtly communicated their inclusive approach to education. For this reason, I studied with ISS. This choice has been vital to my career and has allowed for learning from and with a wide range of professionals across gender, sexuality, race, experiences, backgrounds and modalities.
My informal education is ongoing and constant. I attend dozens of workshops, conferences, festivals and events each year on a range of sex and health-related topics. I research, read and listen to experts, therapists, sex workers, researchers, pioneers and activists across neuroscience, psychology, relationships, mindfulness, bodywork, dating and activism.
My background in Journalism and PR has led me to write for national and international publications. It’s been an important part of my business and has allowed me to connect with a diverse range of people on a global level. To read a selection of my work, visit the media page.
When working in such intimate spaces, supervision is vital. I attend two supervision groups a month, one with a focus on psychology and the other on embodied therapy. I seek individual supervision where required.
I receive therapy at least once a month, this ranges from counselling to bodywork. I commit to this regardless of how I feel.
Confronting embodied -isms:
If you intend to work with people, it is essential to work through any shame, judgement, stigma (and so on) that you may have been conditioned to embody. We all have our own biases and judgements. It’s a natural part of social conditioning, but you must do the work to free yourself from these ideas to keep people safe.
This work is far from easy and glamorous. Any businesses or individuals working in this space are heavily regulated, there are many structures in place that inhibit the basic running of a business. On the outset, working in sexual wellness can look, well, sexy. And sure, there are some wonderfully sensual and liberating aspects of my work, but it’s by no means an easy field to work in. I invite you to ask yourself the questions below to get really clear on why you’re drawn to this work to clarify what you want to do.
Why do you want to do this work?
How do you plan to support yourself emotionally, psychologically, physically, sexually, spiritually as you confront your own shame, taboo and fear around sexuality?
What will you do to decolonise pleasure?
How will you diversify your teachers?
When will you rest?
How will you creatively communicate your services?
How will you credit those you learn from?
What are you most passionate about?
This is a powerful space to work in. We need a wide range of people working in this space across gender, race, sexuality, ability and so on. If you still have questions and want support navigating this career path, I offer 60 minute coaching sessions. Please get in touch via email at email@example.com.
This is a resource I will continue to update.